cybersiderality/gemini/cyberspace/blog/not-web/a-dream-leap_lonak472h0h8jb8w.gmi

A dream "Leap" #dreamjournal

I arrived to a home, it was like in a second floor and there was the red balck and white room of a girl, with her bed and some heart shaped pillows and teddies, it wasn't s clean room but that was because there wasn't a clean woman sleeping inside of it, it was a young woman, I don't remember if a redhead or not but she has natural freckels on her face, but she also had a lot white of bumps, in my stay there I noticed those bumps burned with water, and she screamed it caused her so much pain.

Outside of her room there it was a living room a sofa in the middle of a corridor, a table going forwards on it until you reached another room, one of the parents room, because you see they had two, one room just adjacent to hers and the other on the other side of the corridor, her parents sometimes slept together and some others separated in these rooms. She had a sister too but I never saw her or where she was staying until the very end.

I often ended up sleeping in her room although not with her, there passed like these a lot of nights and we begun taking affection and care for each other, we acknowledged our dreaded situations, how much our life sucked, I was a timeless wanderer, unable to find any meaningfull connection due to my reason and she was trapped by the shadow of her parents and we found solace in the tragedy of our situations.

They did took her bumps every now and then, specially her dad, it was with some kind of rain or a plain bucket straight up to her face and she always screamed in pain, I was never in her room when that happened, it happened twice in my stay, once I was able to remain hidden, and after it was done I got into her bedroom, but she was always in pain under her sheets. The second time was after her family discovered me and they made me sleep in the living room sofa. But it was already too late our bond was too strong for it to be broken only by distance and we were willing to make sacrifices for the other. Our bond strengthened the first time we had sex, I don't remember exactly, and I don't remember her face because it was very dark, and my memory about its cloudy, but I remember the passion, the anger, the love, the pain, the hope. I have the sensations of the emotios that arose as she was on top of me riding me, caring for me, it was warm in the soul and in the body, and only thing I could do is give back.

Time passed after that, we were no longer strangers and have grown in each other hearts. One day, when I was discovered it was by his dad, he surprisingly wasn't mad at me, on the contrary he was glad his child could ever find someone so he was very kind to me, as well as her mother was, but she was still doubtful and wary of me, for her I was just yet another male waiting to inflicted pain. One thing to know about her parents is that they were an odd painful couple, that later on I got to understand why. In my eyes there never seemed to love each other, they didn't fight, but there was no love in there either, they weren't happy nor comfortable to exist around each other, thus the two bedrooms. Their relationship with their kids was one of a master and a slave, it was not a family but a dictatorship, and the rulers were a neurotic mess, the will of the children were never met because the will of the parents forever trespassed it, in result my girl and her sister were always a shell of emotions with a soul buried within mask and mask of parental images, they weren't themselves, they were just beings trying to please their parents.

And even then I thought there was some validity to her suffering, I thought maybe taking away the bumps was a good idea for her health, that was until the last day, that his dad came in anger armed with a water filled bucket and poured it all in rage on a single move, I heard her agonizing pain, she ended up running out of her room, out of the bulding, out in the street, she was gone, and I was in anger and pain now, I saw her parent slowly coming out of the room, self absorbed in pride, then I noticed the very same bumps on his face and I understood, it wasn't about her, it was about him and seeing his own faulty reflection on her, I don't think he hated himself but I do think he never accepted himself and he wanted her daughter to not be him, but that was something impossible. As he was comming out he saw me, he saw the pain if my eyes, the pain I had for her, then he approached me with a condescending attitude, almost as if drunk, then just as he was just in front of me, face to face, a firealrm silently went off and water started raining from the ceiling, and it was water all flowing through his wretched face full of bumps, but there wasn't even a pinch of pain, then the bit of pity I had about him erased, he wasn't feeling for her dauther as I was, he was just inflicting her pain but he wasn't even seeing nor understanding what he was doing, it wasn't for her or for him anymore, it was a behavior whose meaning was lost to him, very much like modern traditions, he wasn't holding a void, nor emptiness, he was no zombie even and he had no soul anymore to reflect, just another automaton. As soon as I understood this my arm went through his body, my hand full of blood now and he lying at last lifeless in the couch both of us cleansing by the drops of water.

I go for her now, into the street, I cross it and get into watered dark alley, the sky is cloudy and I there are barely any sunrays getting into the surface, at the end of the alley there are two paths and in the middle there is her sister with a board on her chest, its got something writen on it that I can't remember, but she points me to one direction and I follow, later on down that dark path I found her bathed on light rays, but not as any biblical imagery, she is just more visible than her sorroundings, she is still im tears but no longer crying, she sees me and she is uneasy for what implies I am there, but also calmed at seeing that I am there with her, I approach and hug her, I feel her tears on my chest and there is no longer any pebble in her face, just her freckles and her ambivalent smile, she looks the most beautiful I have seen her, I take her by the hand and we make a run for getting out of that world, we get into yet another alley but this one at its dead end has a platform, this platform raises us to a digital sky, in there we see a lot of symbols enclosed in different polygons, hexagons, pentagons, etc. In one there is like a double rhomb that makes something like a double edged sword, the symbols are all around the circular plataform, they are all equally distributed except the one I mention and other two, I go to stay on top of the symbol, it is my symbol,  shortly after I stay there her mom comes like through an invisible door into the platform and then daughter and mother see each other in an unspoken dialog, in the end they give s candid smile to each other, the mother gives a strong look at me and then leaves through her door, the girl comes to me and choses me as if I were a weapon of that arena of thought, she hugs me tightly and I wake up.