# Read the tide

2021-06-10 00:50

Surf above Dive below

It is always dark Is it an infinite darkness? A dragon soul screaming in the wild I feel like I am loosing it all Sweetest prison, sweetest cell A wrenching roar It hurts, all my vision now in black and grey Only thing I feel now is pain

Will I be able to save her? I am now blind and broken And silence as usual is all I get How do we change? How do I change? Are things stale because I am not changing? Is the silence made by my own inaction? All I hear is my muted screams into the void

It looks similar but it isn't the same They are echoes of different events Of different worlds, of different lives And way even beyond of that In the sea of the unseen, I see her Slips of what I think is her Is this just me associating or is this real I lay defeated in my bed remembering the past days And there is no one to lay beside me All, really truly alone in my echo-chamber of emotions

"I know who you pretend I am" "Why not me?" "Why not me?"

There is no or else There is no looming threat There is only the now Stripped of all clothing, of all masks What is the thing that remains When there is no you anymore What is your essence? What is your spirit?

"I" transcend, but there is no I Concept of persona is no longer important It no longer exists, yet something does The spirit, the soul, which is not another ego There is only the mind There are no limits Imagination takes away my dissolved being And from a total perspective into one I come again But I am now another, I am not what I used to be I changed, I ceased to be and I was again Another ego, another persona The ever shifting nature of the soul Yet it being the only thing that remains constant Its own change

Yet the question remains Can I save her of her own mind? I am willing to do it, I always was I exist for no reason I am a wildcard, always was That is my role That is my spirit Freedom Uncertainty Fear Chaos Awe

There is no destiny, there is nothing set Oh fearful star, what are we gonna do now? I am saving her or am I just making it worse? Should I just let go?

In reality my saving are just my own ideas But are not others ideas already a influence I have doubts about me and my path.. but I trust my body I trust my nature I trust my guts I trust my will I trust my spirit I trust my world and my ideas They are my own I reached them through experience It is my mental world It is a senseless mess But it is not a bought ideology And even less it is a stapled construct It is personal It is human It is not an established institution Can they say the same?

I trust myself, but I am lacking conviction I need something else Something is missing My strength Why is it missing? How do I get it back?

Maybe another sight At the marvels of eternity Is what is in place